


Destiny

by AllyMichele



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gen, Hate to Love, Historical Fantasy, Kissing, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Not anything icky but because its historical the age gap is questionable, Smut, Star Wars AU, Underage - Freeform, he needs therapy, they both are older though before they do it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26023186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyMichele/pseuds/AllyMichele
Summary: (Star Wars AU)Being the daughter of an influential man is tough. Being the daughter of an influential and rich man is even tougher. Constantly fighting who is with you for the right reasons or not, it makes you question your reality constantly, a reality that has not been kind to you. But it made you tougher, stronger, not as easily fooled like the rest of the girls your age.Until Kylo Ren walked in and proved you wrong.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after binge watching GOT and I could NOT get the idea of a historical Kylo Ren out of my head. This was originally written as a one shot but I kind of got into it so I'm probably going to make this into a short story, probably around 5 chapters, unless y'all really like it and I can expand it. Let me know your thoughts and suggestions!

She had met Kylo Ren when she was thirteen years old. He was older than her, of course, but not by much. It was a much shorter age gap than her parents that is for sure. They met at a ball being thrown by the king and queen, to celebrate the birth of their third child. 

Her father had said it was a ‘great honor’ to be invited to such an event but she had her doubts. Y/N was young and while she enjoyed dancing and meeting new people, it grew exhausting at times. So many names and faces to remember, so many people to bow to, so many courtships she had to entertain for the sake of her father.

He was an honorable man with a great fortune. Nothing compared to the royals but it was a generous sum that made him very influential in the lives of the people. Her father was usually called away to consult with the king on matters regarding the kingdom and its prosperity. 

Y/N was very grateful to be born into a family so highly regarded but she had to be very cautious. Before her mother passed away, she made Y/N promise to keep her heart close to her sleeve and to never bear it to anyone who is not worthy. It was a hard lesson to learn for her, a girl that dreamed of romance and great adventures. 

But it was a lesson that served her well for there were many a man who tried to deceive her, young as she was, to secure a high place in life. It made Y/N very cautious about the men who came to call. She hadn’t even been properly introduced in court yet but she already knew the way of the world.

Which was why, when she met Kylo Ren, she couldn’t understand why that lesson seemed to completely disappear.

The ball was in full swing with twirling dresses and flowing wine in every corner. Men were starting to get drunk while the ladies were giggling in corners hoping to be taken out to dance. Candlelight filled the room with a giant chandelier in the middle, hanging lowly with glittering jewels twisted around it. 

The castle was one of the most beautiful places in all of the kingdom. People from hundreds of miles away would travel just to get the chance to walk around and explore all of the art and history that was inside the walls and Y/N would never take that for granted. 

She walked in a simple pale pink gown, as was customary for girls her age who had not yet been introduced in court. It was a symbol to let people know that she was not available nor had she even become a woman yet. She was simply a girl spectating the world around her.

Y/N did not mind this though. It was rather fun for her to watch her close peers behave stupidly due to the effects of alcohol. She stayed close to her father’s side throughout the night, not that he minded much, and loved to listen to the conversations of politics and business.

Women hardly had the chance to be a part of the government besides planning advantageous marriages and children so this was a very welcome change for her, she got to see a whole new side of the coin while being ignored for the most part aside from a kiss of the hand from her father’s friends.

Well, she was being ignored, until _he_ walked in. 

Y/N knew who he was and knew of his family. They were rather close to her father but she had never met their child, Kylo. Han and Leia were known as peacekeepers in the government, the latter more so. Leia made it her life's mission to speak for the people of their kingdom and Y/N very much admired her for that. 

The older woman put herself in the face of adversity and trials time and time again just to put others' needs before her own, it was a very honorable thing to do. It puzzled her why Han didn’t speak out as much as his wife though Y/N heard of the many fights the couple had. Han was, well, a conman for better lack of term before he had met Leia and had given up that lifestyle. 

It was a love story that had a younger Y/N reeling. A smuggler who fell in love with a high born, two worlds collided but destined to be together through the stars. It made her believe in destiny as much as her parents had...or until she realized what the world truly was.

Where she found out that that love story was wrought with pain and sorrow, affairs and arguments. Two people who were once together in love now torn apart by their differences. Everyone knew that Han left often to pursue his thrown away trade, leaving Leia to power through and make things better. It was no wonder that their only child, Kylo Ren as he liked to be called, acted the way that he did.

Kylo Ren was a very secluded man. Though both of his parents were constantly in the spotlight, he preferred to work behind the scenes and in the shadows. He was very close with the king and queen though Y/N did not know exactly what he did for them. 

There were whispers of course, tales of him being their own personal assassin or a smuggler just like his father. Y/N didn’t know if those rumors held any truth to them but it was alarming all the same. He practically separated himself from his family, running his own estate with money earned from the royal family. 

Which is why it was such a surprise to see him standing with them now. Well, off to the side of them. Perhaps they had just coincidentally walked in at the same time. But Han was with Leia in a very _rare_ public appearance so maybe things had worked themselves out and they were a happy family again? It was all a mystery that Y/N couldn’t solve.

Lost in her own thoughts and puzzles she hardly noticed as they all approached her father and his friends, startling easily as her father cleared his throat.

Y/N immediately looked up only to have her breath catch in her throat, her lips suddenly dry as her eyes locked with Kylo’s. His eyes reminded her of so many things, so many analogies she could make in her head but none would come close to actually describing the depth and beauty and _pain_ that was in them. That was what took her truly by surprise, the sorrow that swam in them.

“It is such a pleasure to see you all together tonight on this glorious celebration!” Her father boasted, hand slapping the back of Han. The sound was enough to snap her out of the trance that his eyes had had her in, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as she turned away shyly.

“Ah yes, what a beautiful thing to celebrate. It reminds me of when Kylo was born, or when your precious Y/N was brought into this world.” Leia sighed, her tight smile as she said her son’s name quickly melting as she took Y/N’s face between her hands and kissed her forehead.

“My, my how you've grown.” She said. “And not even blossomed yet? Y/N you are going to be turning all of the young men’s heads when you are introduced.” She teased, making Y/N bask in the compliment.

“I would hope so though for right now I find myself in the comfort of just simply enjoying company.” Y/N replied, bowing her head at the couple. She did love the attention that Leia bestowed upon her but she could feel herself being watched, making her ears catch fire in embarrassment. Thankfully no one seemed to notice. 

“Speaking of being introduced…” Leia began, eyes turning towards Kylo. “We are making his introduction today. It took a lot of convincing on our part and we should have done this earlier but, no time like the present. Right?” She nudged Han who seemed like he was dozing off. Y/N let out a small giggle at the cluelessness of him.

“Hm? Oh yes, yes.” Han replied gruffly, nodding along before his eyes caught sight of a large pitcher of ale. “If you’ll excuse me…” He trailed off, not even giving the courtesy of a bow before he walked off. Y/N didn’t miss the way Kylo seemed to bristle as his father brushed his chest nor Leia’s judgemental eyes.

“Is that right? Well I’m sure you will find plenty of fine women here for you Kylo!” Her father chuckled, arms motioning out into the crowd at the sea of dancers. Kylo simply stared out at the crowd before abruptly turning and walking away as well, spine straight and hands curled into fists.

It didn’t take a genius to understand that Kylo did not want to be here. Y/N didn’t know why though. Surely he wanted a bride to carry on the family name, to give him children and create a legacy that was sure to stand. All men wanted that. Why didn’t he?

“I’m so sorry for both of their abrupt departures.” Leia apologized, body poised as ever but eyes holding a wrath that not even the devil himself wanted a part of. “I hope you all enjoy your evening.”

With a graceful bow she made her way down the stairs to greet other people. Y/N watched as she made her way through the river of people, empathy settling into her chest as the two most important men in her life both not by her side.

“She should have never married him. It looks like their son is going to turn out just like him as well, doing the dirty work for the royal family.” Her father chided to his friends, his hand finding Y/N’s as he pulled her towards him.

“Never fall for someone who acts like that, for your old man’s sake.” He teased, brushing back on her curls as she smiled ruefully at him. 

“Of course, papa. I would never…” Y/N trailed off, following him further into the castle while her mind still burned with the images of Kylo’s eyes.

After they said their congratulations to the king and queen, giving the baby the gifts that they bore, her father sent her to go join in the festivities. Y/N didn’t want to go.

“Please papa, I would much rather stay with you and talk of things other than boys and ribbons!” She protested, arms crossed across her chest with a pout on her lips. He quickly shut down her argument though with a look, gently leading her on the sidelines of the dancefloor before making his way upstairs with a cup of wine. 

Y/N stuck her tongue out at him while his back was turned. She turned back around to watch everyone dancing, eyes not catching on one particular person or another. They all looked the same to her. She knew her friends, very little that she had, were already paired off with people as they had already been introduced to court. 

It didn’t seem very fair that she was the odd one out but she was also grateful for it, for she knew that once she got introduced it would only encourage the men more to seek her for wealth. 

After listening to three songs played by the band, she found herself wandering over to the staircase. There were people lounging around the base but there was scarcely anyone at the top, those that were were young couples who only had eyes for each other or friends comforting their crying partners who didn’t get picked for a dance.

It was the perfect place for Y/N to sneak away. With quick feet she glided up the stairs and slipped by unnoticed by the patrons of the party, her hand finding the doorknob to the balcony doors and all but throwing them open.

Fresh air danced around her and filled her senses, a sigh of relief flooding through her as the soft moonlight guided her towards the edge of the railing. Y/N loved balconies, loved the views they gave. This one was overlooking the gardens down below. Flowers of all sorts of colors and sizes were dancing in the soft breeze, tree branches whispering to each other the songs of the night while the small fountain bubbled it’s wishes to the fish swimming in it. 

Night was truly better than day in her humble opinion. It held more mysteries, more things to be discovered, more adventures than the day could ever hope to give. It comforted her because it was quiet and she didn’t have any responsibilities in the darkness, she could just simply exist. 

Y/N didn’t know how long she stood there for, leaning against the railing and watching the stars twinkle from afar. Time seemed to not exist in this place, it was peaceful.

“How did I know I would find you out here?” A voice said behind her, deep in nature with an edge that set her nerves on fire. She quickly spun around to find Kylo Ren standing ten feet away from her, arms tightly by his side with one eyebrow quirked.

It was more of a statement than a question, his head tilted slightly to the side. Her eyes were quick to not connect with his, instead taking in his outfit. It was a deep black suit with gold trim and intricate designs sewn throughout. The gold was the only thing that was bright on his whole body, even his shoe buckles were black. 

Kylo Ren was intimidating in every sense of the word...except for his eyes. They say eyes are the window to the soul and Y/N could not think of a more truer statement. He was trying his best to conceal it but no matter how hard he tried, she saw the same pain that was there earlier in the evening.

“Pardon me sir, I did not know I had an audience.” Y/N apologized, bowing her head respectfully. She was usually never nervous to talk to anyone besides her father when he was in a cross room. She couldn’t understand the butterflies that were fluttering in her stomach.

Kylo only hummed in response, ignoring her questioning gaze as he made his way to stand beside her. Y/N scooted over to put more distance between them as he looked up to the sky, eyebrows drawn together in thought.

She really had no idea on what to make of this situation. This was the first time she was meeting this man and now she was alone with him? What would her father say? Or worse, what would the gossip be about them? Being the good person that she was, Y/N decided to excuse herself from his company.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, Kylo. I will be going back inside now, enjoy the rest of your night!” She sighed, offering a half hearted wave as her skirt twirled around her to head back inside the large balcony doors.

A hand around her wrist immediately stopped her.

“You weren’t bothering me, Y/N.” Kylo breathed, the chill night air blowing his dark curls across his forehead. She got the strong urge to brush them back with her fingers.

She was speechless once again. It was like an enchantment over her, a spell that was meant only for her and him. The only thing that existed was his coarse hand against her slender wrist and the scent of leather of embers.

“I hate parties. I know it might seem obvious but it’s just too much...too much noise for me,” He started babbling, missing how her mouth fell open in awe. Y/N had never heard him speak more than two sentences to anyone. “My mother wants to introduce me to court which I find absolutely ridiculous. I am seventeen, work for the crown, if they don’t know my name by now then-”

“What do you do for the royals?” She blurted out, unable to stop the question. Y/N cursed her curious nature and hoped she hadn’t offended him but was surprised when he let out a chuckle.

“I would like to hear your theories, Miss Y/N.” Kylo teased, easing into a relaxed position as he easily pulled her closer to him. The two were only a hair's breadth away from each other in the little nook on the balcony. She felt as if she were going to get whiplash from this man.

He had seemed so intimidating and scary in the ballroom but out here it was if she were talking to someone completely different. It was if his own enchantment had changed him too or perhaps it was just the moon playing tricks in the dark. Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to question the universe right now though.

“Well…” She began, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I’ve heard many people say that perhaps you are an assassin or a smuggler. They say you are a dangerous man who only cares for himself.”

Y/N was surprised at the brazenness of her comment, pupils dilating slightly as she looked up at him with worry she had upset him.

“Is that what you believe?” Kylo whispered, his jaw set tight as if expecting her to give an even worse tale.

“No.” Y/N said quickly, no hesitation whatsoever. “I think of you doing something much more simpler such as bookkeeping or accounting…” She trailed off, lip catching between her teeth as her eyelashes fluttered.

For a moment she thought that they would kiss, her fantasies from her books fogging her head as her lips pursed together. The moment was giving off all of the signs that this was going to be _the_ kiss, the kiss that she would remember for the rest of her life.

But reality was always particularly hard on her and this was no different. Kylo suddenly pulled away from her, taking a few steps back with staggering breaths. Y/N could not stop the small cracks that seemed to be edging along her soul, her feet planting back onto the ground from where they were rose to meet him in a lovers embrace.

“You think too highly of me, Y/N.” He chastised, those eyes darkening once again. She didn’t know what she had done wrong, how would being called a bookkeeper offend someone?

“I-I’m sorry if I offended you, Kylo. I meant nothing by it-” Y/N gulped, flinching when his voice rose at her.

“You can’t offend me.” It was like he spat the words at her, emotions changing once again. “Here I am babbling to you about nonsensical things when I should be inside conversing with _women_.”

That was the blow that shattered her fragile heart, eyes quickly filling with tears. It seemed that while Y/N loved the fantasies of the night, fate was so cruel that it would twist her own. 

“That’s not _fair_!” She cried, arms crossed. “We were having a lovely conversation until your mood swings ruined it!”

“You hold your tongue, girl. You should know better than to speak to someone like that.” Kylo fired back though it held no true animosity, more shock than anything. If she had said that to anyone else she would probably have received lashings from her father.

“I will not! Just because I am not some silly woman who is dancing with every man in the kingdom does not mean you get to treat me like this. What did I do wrong?” Y/N demanded, taking a step forward to meet his eyes with her ocean full of anger and hurt.

Kylo took a few deep breaths before replying, his head turning away from her. “You did nothing wrong. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I let the moonlight enchant me and let myself think that for a moment you could…” 

He didn’t finish the sentence, the tension hanging thickly in the air. Kylo truly did not know what had overtook him. He barely knew Y/N but when their eyes had met in the ballroom it was if all the answers in the world were in the form of _her_.

And when he had found her all alone on the balcony, he let himself indulge in a fantasy that he could live a normal life and be with someone as lovely as Y/N. Someone who wouldn’t judge him for his family nor his job with the king. She fit all of those markers but he wouldn’t condemn her to that tragedy, to suffer with him. That was what would make him truly cruel. 

Y/N seemed to come up with her own answer though. It was obvious that whatever had happened between them tonight was only a trick of the light, a fae playing a prank on the both of them. Her pride had been hurt, her hope had been lost, but above all her heart had been stolen that night. Whether she wanted to admit that or not, Kylo Ren had taken her heart with the lock and key and she could not get it back.

With that knowledge she steeled herself and marched up to him until they were nose to nose, eyes defiant as the words tumbled out of her mouth like a curse upon him.

“I never want to see you again, Kylo Ren.”

Y/N turned on her heels and ran to the balcony doors, throwing them open in a dramatic fashion before fleeing down the stairs. She didn’t know where her father was but she needed to find him, needed his comfort though he could never know why.

He could never know that on this night she had lost her heart to a dangerous man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short I know but I couldn't justify making the first chapter end with this or make the second chapter start like this so, this is just a small snippet to add onto the last chapter! I hope you enjoy it either way!

After finding her father and holding onto him securely for the rest of the night, it was finally time to go home. Y/N was exhausted from the ball and vowed to never go to another one again. Well, at least one where Kylo Ren would be in attendance. 

Her father knew something was wrong with her, had seen her tear stained cheeks in the candlelight of the castle but did not approach the subject of why which she was very grateful for. They were both very close and he knew that when she was ready to discuss what happened that night she would tell him.

But Y/N did not know when she would be ready to discuss what happened, how she had been so enraptured by the idea of love and Kylo Ren that she had allowed herself to fall in love so easily.

She now knew why they called it falling. It was as easy as falling into a field of flowers or into the arms of someone you loved, it needed no thought nor hesitation. It was as easy as breathing. And that frightened her very much. Y/N knew next to nothing about him but the way he had looked at her, had held her, it was like her center of gravity had shifted and she was now orbiting him. 

Laying in bed that night with the lights out and crickets talking to each other outside, she was left with nothing but those thoughts. They were flipping through her mind like a book that she couldn’t shut, it was maddening. Her sheets were crumpled and blankets strewn about as she tussled restlessly with sleep. 

After about an hour of this she finally let out a huff and sat up, turning to slip on her slippers and lightly padding her way to light a candle on her vanity. Y/N knew everyone was asleep and she could easily go through the shadows without anyone to catch her.

She made it to the attic without so much of a creak of wood, knowing all of the spots to step on. Slowly she pushed the attic door open, wincing when it echoed out it’s protest, before she looked up at the spiral staircase before her. 

It led to a small door that opened up to the roof that was only used for chimney sweeps and such but it was currently Y/N’s escape from reality. Climbing the stairs with her flame flickering and nightgown fluttering behind her, Y/N’s hands were grazing the railing before reaching the top.

Turning the knob and pushing it open, she bent down slightly to make it through the doorway. A harsh wind immediately hit her and blew out her candle, startling her enough to where she almost tripped. Y/N set the candle down and wrapped her arms around herself before tiptoeing across the roof and sitting down on the east side, the moon still high in the sky.

Despite the chill in the air she was warming up, toes curled inwards as her eyes roamed the vast darkness of the forest that was behind her house. The thoughts about Kylo Ren were still present but they were much more bearable here, where she could look up at the stars and imagine people living on them with much bigger problems than her own.

Laying back and stretching out her legs, Y/N’s hair splayed out amongst the dark brick of her home. She closed her eyes and with the comforting noises of the night was finally able to find some semblance of peace. 

It was in that peace that she decided that even if she had fallen in love with Kylo Ren, what would it matter? He was older than her and probably had already found a wife tonight at the ball. She wasn’t even introduced to court yet so any chance that she would have to see him again was low. Besides, what did Y/N _truly_ know about love? She was thirteen and it could have easily been infatuation rather than that.

A small part of her brain protested at the thought that it was anything but love but Y/N was quick to silence it, eyes gazing up while the moon fell and the sun rose. The golden rays were barely peeking over the edge of the trees when she decided she needed to go back to bed lest she worry her maids. 

With one last breath and whiff of morning dew and light, she drew the attic door shut and with it all of her problems about Kylo Ren.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally wrote all of these chapters in one day! I just can't get it out of my head but I am so glad so many people are reading it and enjoying it! Leave a comment or a kudos if you'd like, always makes my day! Enjoy!

Five years had passed in the blink of an eye for Y/N. Time was relative in her opinion and was always finicky but she could still acknowledge that it had moved very fast.

Sitting in her resting room at her aunt’s house in the countryside, she had nothing to do but reflect on how she arrived here. It seemed as if yesterday she were that naive thirteen year old going away on vacation to visit family...not knowing that that would be the last time she would see her father.

A plague had fallen upon their kingdom like a suffocating swaddle, choking almost half of the life that once thrived there. Y/N had made it out before it had even reached her but her father, he had to return to the king’s side for an urgent matter that she cursed even to this day.

He made her a promise to return with her favorite flowers and books from home, kissing her on her cheeks and forehead with a smile that was aged. Y/N could remember the sadness in his eyes, as if he had known he would never see her again. It was a painful memory that had haunted her for years. Even now she could feel the slight prickle of tears in the corner of her eyes, chewing down on the inside of her cheek to hold them back.

After her father’s death it was made known that he had written a will that gave everything to her, to _his precious Y/N_. She had read the letter herself where he wrote of all the beautiful things about her. How she had the heart of her father but the sharp wit of her mother, the delicate features of a princess but the stubbornness of a king. Even on his last breath she knew that he was only speaking of her, of how much he wished he could see her one last time.

Y/N would have made haste to the castle if her aunt and uncle had let her but they kept her close, warning her of not only the danger of the plague but also the danger of being kidnapped and ransomed. With a heavy heart and puffy eyes she wrote a letter to her papa, tears staining the parchment as she wrote her final goodbye. 

Months had passed before she finally went on an outing with her aunt and that was only to the market to fetch some bread. The plague was finally receding and doctors had found a helpful remedy that they claimed cured it but she was not so certain.

Although it got easier in time to accept that he was gone but still watching over her, his will was not. People that Y/N did not even know were crawling out of whatever swamp they came from to try and steal her rightful home away from her. They were claiming to be sons, brothers, uncles, even her grandfather! She had never seen such a spectacle in her life and she spat on every person that dared try to take advantage of her in this time of grief. 

Her aunt and uncle were by her side the whole time, disproving their claims with evidence. They protected Y/N as if she were their own and she would be forever indebted to them for that. Still, at times she felt that she was a burden to them. Their children had already gone off and married which left them alone to live their own lives and here she was intruding on them. 

She knew she had a home to go to whenever she was ready, her mansion that was left to her as well as all of the servants and money that could hold her over for two lifetimes. It was more than enough for Y/N to ever dream of but she was scared. 

There were so many painful memories in that great big house. So many painful memories in that kingdom if she were being honest. To show her face again would mean she would have to go back to court, introduce herself and become a highborn lady that she was supposed to be long ago before the plague.

Y/N laughed at the image of it now, her father introducing her to court while she wore a gigantic white dress with pearls in her hair. It was something she used to look forward to but now she saw it as stupid. It did sting a little bit that her father would never get the opportunity to see her courted...or married...or even see his grandchildren. 

But she also knew that he wouldn’t want her to throw her life away just for the fact that she couldn’t see them. He would be the one calling her stupid then. Her papa would want her to thrive and meet a nice man, one who could handle her many questions and banter, and have plenty of children who could enjoy the gardens and mazes around their estate. 

That knowledge was what decided for her that she should at least settle back into normalcy. To go back home as the rightful heir and make the most of her life instead of hiding out in the countryside like some old widow. Y/N had packed her bags and gotten everything arranged for her arrival until the day finally came for her to leave.

And she didn’t.

Y/N had run back to her room and hid in there for at least a week, barely eating any meals nor talking to anyone. She knew she was worrying her aunt and uncle but she could not admit to them that she was not as brave as she seemed, couldn’t admit that she was scared to go back. 

So her bags sat there for days, then weeks, then months, and now years. It had been five years since she was supposed to have left but Y/N had not moved an inch. Staying within the confines of this house while hardly speaking to anyone. It was a life that a younger her could never have imagined living but now she couldn’t see it any other way.

Y/N didn’t want to face whatever was waiting for her in the kingdom, didn’t want to see rotting corpses in the street or her father’s grave right next to mother’s. She didn’t want to see the sympathetic looks from people as she rode home, whispers about her whereabouts and what she was doing next. 

No, Y/N was perfectly content to be a hermit for the rest of her life. It may not be what the stars had destined for her to be but she was the one writing her story now, fate could just butt out. She kept that mindset for awhile until a letter came in the mail, a letter that was addressed to her from…

_Lady Leia Organa-Solo_

The letter sat in the middle of the kitchen table for a few minutes, all of them gathered around the table just staring at as if it were going to explode at any minute. The air was tense and wrought with unspoken anxiety, countless questions popping like popcorn over everyone’s heads as they waited for Y/N to open it.

“I don’t want to open it…” Y/N murmured, hands twisting in her lap.

As much as her aunt loved her it was getting tiring to see her cooped up here all the time. The girl was more than welcomed to stay but this was not where she belonged, this is not what the Gods had planned for Y/N and she knew that Y/N knew that as well.

“You must, dear. This must be something important if she has written to you specifically.” Her aunt pushed, arm moving across the table to grasp Y/N’s hands. She looked up startled before turning her gaze to her uncle, pleading with him.

“I do not wish to know what she wants. I don’t want my life to change.” She said tearfully, shaking her head as he simply pushed the letter further towards her.

“You know this is not where you belong, Y/N. You know your father and mother wanted more for you. Please.” He soothed her, coming around to brush his hand over her head as she finally took the letter with shaky hands. 

Of course she knew that she would not be able to hide out here forever, try as she might. Duty would soon call her and although her aunt had taught her well, Y/N needed to move forward. She needed to press on and do the next right thing. So, with a shaky breath she slowly ripped open the flap and pulled out the paper.

It was a very soft paper that her mother used to write with, dark ink staining it with their families official seal stamped at the bottom. Y/N was flooded with memories and smells of her old life and she hadn’t even read it yet, it was too much at once.

But she continued on despite her fear, pushing the memories back and going over the words of one of her role models. Y/N stayed that way for a few minutes, simply reading over her words again and again while her aunt and uncle waited with bated breath on the news.

Finally she set the letter down and lifted her head, lip pulled between her teeth as her shoulders shook with silent cries. Her aunt immediately stood and pulled the young girl into a warm embrace, rocking back and forth slowly until Y/N finally stopped shaking.

She gently pulled away from her aunt and wiped at her face, trying to erase the tears that had left streaks on her rosy cheeks. She knew it was no use but it still comforted her to think she at least looked like she hadn’t just been sobbing.

“Well, what did it say? Has something happened?” Her uncle asked, large hands gripping the kitchen chair in anticipation. He never was one for emotions like his wife but he still felt sympathy for his nieve.

“It wasn’t anything bad, uncle.” Y/N sniffled, walking over to hold the paper again. “She was apologizing for not coming out to see me after papa passing away, talking about how much he loved me and spoke of me even on his deathbed.” 

Her uncle and aunt let out a small breath of air, not a chuckle but something like it. “Well I could have told you that, Y/N. You were his pride and joy in everything.” Her aunt boasted, rubbing her arm as Y/N smiled wistfully.

“I know, auntie. But she has invited me to stay with them for awhile, she states that she needs some company…” Y/N says, eyebrows creasing. They took notice.

“Is there any particular reason…?” They both asked, curiosity piqued. “Not that they need one! It just seems so sudden!” Her aunt added nervously.

“Well, yes, actually.” She grumbled, eyes rolling as she reread what Leia had written to her. “Her son, Kylo, is getting married in a month’s time and she was wanting me to be her guest of honor.”

The room was silent for a beat before they both cheered, clapping loudly. “That is wonderful news! A wedding is always a joyous occasion and for you to be a guest of honor? Lady Leia must think very highly of you indeed!”

Y/N watched as they started to run about the house, no doubt collecting all of her things and fetching a carriage to carry her away to see the one man she hated most in her life. She was surprised that he had even found a suitable woman to marry given his attitude and arrogance. 

She was still flattered by the offer that Leia was extending her, she probably had no clue what had gone down between her son and her. Still, Y/N was planning on refusing her offer. Going back home would mean that she would have to go out and socialize, attend parties that she knows Leia would have, it would be too much for her to do all alone. 

The only problem now was going to tell her aunt and uncle, letting them down once again. The thought alone of their faces when she told them she would be staying is enough to make her stomach turn in knots. Maybe she could go...she wouldn’t have to stay the whole time and could sit in the back during the wedding…

Before she could brood any longer her aunt appeared suddenly, smushing her face together and giving her a kiss on the nose. “Oh I am so excited for you Y/N! You can finally be introduced in court, go home and be in your own bedroom and see your friends, fall in love…” 

Her aunt was daydreaming now, fluttering around the room like a hummingbird that found it’s favorite nectar. Y/N could see the hope shining on her face and she didn’t know if she had the heart to break it. Surely she could fake it for a month to make them happy? She might even be able to take two weeks off by faking an illness.

A plan started forming in her head while she walked into the foyer of the house, murmuring to herself while bag after bag started piling up at the front door. The sound of hoofs outside woke her from her daze, peeking through the curtains to see a beautifully ornate carriage.

“Well that didn’t take long…” She whispered, shaking her head at just how quickly they were able to get everything ready for her. 

“We ordered the finest carriage to take you to the Solo’s home! We’ll also be getting you dressed in your finest gown and hair so that you look absolutely divine!” Her uncle boomed, heavy footsteps making its way down the stairs before the second to last step caught his foot and made him fall down. Y/N immediately rushed over to him, calling out for her aunt until she realized that he was laughing.

“I hate you!” She huffed, hitting him lightly on the arm while helping him back up. He hadn’t stopped laughing at all. “That was quite the fall wasn’t it dear?” He chortled, shooing her hands away from him.

Y/N just simply shook her head and went upstairs to her bedroom before stopping in the doorway, not at all surprised by the scene playing out. Her aunt had fished out her lavender dress with glittering lace from one of her bags, the skirts and hoops that went along with it scattered about the bed while she fiddled with earrings and shoes.

“We’ve already got the sparkle so anything more would look almost too gaudy. We don’t want her to parade herself like she were going to a cattle auction…” Her aunt mused, fingers jumping from piece to piece before landing on one she liked.

“These are beautiful…” She gasped, holding them into the light before Y/N made herself known.

“Those were my mother’s…” Y/N commented, stepping around the dress to stand next to her aunt to admire them. “They were her favorite pair. She always wore them to parties, claiming they were her ‘good luck charm’ that brought her to dad.”

A smile had found its way onto her lips for the first time in months. It felt strange to her at first, as if her body was learning something new, but when her aunt caught her and offered one of her own it felt more natural. Her aunt gently laid them back onto the bed before placing her hands on Y/N’s shoulders.

“I can see the worry in your eyes, my love. Everything will be okay. This world can be dark and scary, no one knows that more than an old woman.” She chuckled, cupping Y/N’s face gently who leaned into the warmth and shut her eyes. “But no one was more built for this world than you, Y/N. Your parents gave you all that you needed to survive and I know they wouldn’t have left this world without _knowing_ that you would be alright.”

Her words were wrapping around Y/N like a warm blanket by the fireplace, they were comforting and gave her strength that she absolutely needed at this point.

“You’ve had your fair trials, your griefs and trifles with life but now, _now_ , is the time for you to blossom as you were always meant to do. You just needed a little extra time.”

Her aunt held her there for a long moment before stepping away to wipe her own tears away, clapping her hands so the maids could come in and help her get ready. Y/N was grateful for the distraction for if they hadn’t come, she was sure they both would still be crying in each other’s arms. 

“Leave her hair be, I want to fix it.” Her aunt cooed, guiding Y/N to a chair next to her vanity to begin brushing it. “I’m going to make sure your entrance into the kingdom is one to remember, Y/N.”

A few hours later and Y/N was finally ready to emerge from her bedroom, her dress practically a second skin while her hair was nearly pinned into her skull. She hadn’t known such discomfort before due to never having to look such as lavish as now. Now being the time when she would be presented as a lady and not just a girl. 

She was finding it difficult to move around due to the various skirts and frills that this outfit offered but she knew it was all in the spirit of looking her best for Leia. And that was who she was looking best for, Leia, not anyone else. 

“I wish I could come with you but I need to let you spread your wings! Do send them our best regards and thank them for their kindness!” Her aunt chattered, rushing her down the stairs and towards the front door. Her uncle was outside talking with the coachmen, none the wiser of what was going on inside the house.

Her aunt waved the maids to begin packing her bags into the carriage while she frittered and fretted over minor details of Y/N’s appearance. She had to resist the urge to roll her eyes as her cheeks were pinched to give them a rosy color.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N. Absolutely stunning.” 

Y/N bowed a little at the compliment, giving a small twirl in her dress before both women opened the door to go outside. The sun was high in the sky for mid-afternoon which meant that she wouldn’t have to worry about traveling at night. That small grace made her relax a little. 

“Would you look at her! This is my niece! Look at how wonderful she is! Enchanting, lovely, engaging, oh I could on and on!” Her uncle crowed, jogging over to sweep her in a giant hug that Y/N would miss dearly.

“Come now dear, you must leave some compliments for the men at court to give her!” Her aunt teased, looping their arms together as they gazed softly at the young woman they had raised.

“Oh poppycock, those men at court will never be good enough for our dear Y/N…” He stated, eyes crinkling on the sides while he bounced on the balls of her feet. “You send those Solo’s our best wishes, you hear me? And tell Han that I still am waiting on my money from our last game!”

Y/N giggled loudly at her uncle’s antics, nodding her head before rushing to give them one final hug. They embraced her with all the warmth and love they had shown on her first day here in the countryside. If she dwelled on it too long she knew that she was going to cry so instead she put on her bravest smile, pulling away to give them kisses on the cheeks.

“I promise to write to you all everyday! Every hour!” She said, the coachman taking her hand to lead her to the carriage. The reality of what she was about to do settled heavy in her stomach. It felt as if she were sinking. 

“You won’t even remember us! Have fun, my love! Be safe!” Her aunt called, blowing kisses while a few teardrops got caught in the sunlight. 

Y/N was already in the carriage before she could see them fall though, her heart beating fast in her chest while she struggled to open the window to wave them goodbye. Or make a break back to them. She heard the coachmen call out to the horse and the jolt of the carriage moving, it was enough to make her sick.

She turned her head back towards her family and reached her arm out to them, her own tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she cried out to them. Y/N knew it was no use as the carriage was already halfway up the driveway, the couple slowly fading away as if they were but a glare from the sun.

She kept her head out of the window until she could see the house no more, green hills and cattle the only thing left as Y/N finally allowed herself to sob. The life she had grown accustomed to was no more and she was now going to have to face the very people she had been running from for five years.

Y/N finally sat back down when her cheeks started to burn from the wind, slamming the window shut with as much force as she could muster. There was nothing left for her to do now besides think and dread, a terrible combination that often got her into the worst situations. Her imagination was already wild enough but for the world to throw uncertainty into would turn everything into an overwhelming nightmare.

Hands thrown down in exasperation she winced when her knuckle hit something solid. Her eyes gazed down as she saw a book, a very hefty book. It wasn’t just any book though, it was her favorite. She hadn’t read it since the night of the party where she had met-

Y/N refused to think of the man. Instead, she slowly let her fingers slip down the spine as if she could feel the pulse of it. Every book had a rhythm, a song, to it and this one was her favorite tune. A small smile came onto her face as she opened the cover and began to read, her worries drifting away as she suddenly didn’t feel so alone.


End file.
